Roy Martin Ministries

The End of Summer

Although officially it doesn’t end until Labor Day cookouts next weekend, but the true fact is, when August is finished, so is Summer, and together we’ve pushed ahead to this point, and it doesn’t matter if you have fallen off as long as you’ve gotten back on and we’ve been riding together ever since. Now that the hot days and nights are just about finished, we’ll have a less desire to want to be out there and this is good. Even the weather will cooperate as we continue our fight against addiction and urges which seem sometimes never to end. But they do.

In my years of addiction, I learned to hate summer. I learned to hate being thirsty and nowhere to quench my thirst. I learned to hate smelling and not having hygiene products or place to accommodate me. I learned to hate summer when I felt hopelessness and tried to take my life on three occasions. Now, it’s time to get rid of the hate and recognize it had nothing really to do with the weather as much as it had to do with me.

As we say good-bye to the summer heat and madness of being “out there”, let’s come to understand summers will not stop but we do. No longer will it hold anything on us as we continue to enjoy life and all that it has to offer.

Remember the days of the past for what they were,

In the past and not our future.

Beyond the Clouds

The last couple of days have been cloudy. A passing hurricane, too far to do any real damage but close enough to affect the weather has kept our sun hidden and produced a lot of much needed rain, this reminds me of my experience as a little boy and flying for the first time. I was amazed when we broke through those clouds how sunny it was. I learned then no matter what it seem to be on Earth, above those clouds there is nothing which can affect what’s going on in the heavens.

The same applies to our earthly experience. There may be quite a cloudy period of time we are going through and we just cannot see how things will get any better. I want to let you know just beyond those clouds of addiction, pain, isolation and loneliness there is a brighter experience just waiting for you to break through. Sometimes the clouds will leave on their own while other times we just have to believe and begin to move them in our lives.

Just as the sun is shining whether it is dark, cloudy and raining or even if we’re on the other side of the planet and it is nighttime, it doesn’t affect the sun’s ability to shine. God is not phased by dark experiences or your inability to see Him presently. He continues to shine His love to you and those around you. It is time to take in the “Son”shine even when you aren’t able to see Him standing right beside you.

Walk in the light, not shadows of the dark.

Pay attention to the right path before you miss the mark.

–Vikki Blossom

Hugs & Kisses

I was given a treat by an early morning phone call from a recently added friend who called to let me know she prepared breakfast for me! While having this experience, her daughters would eventually awaken and when one of them came into the kitchen were greeted with a hug, kiss and verbal exchange which made them feel reassured they were loved, appreciated and welcomed. Once they had been fed from an emotional point of view then their physical need was met in the form of food.

I watched with amazement because this was not my experience growing up. These weren’t small children either, one in her teens and the other soon to arrive. I knew what this mother experienced several days ago, her struggle and pain, but she never dropped her guard when it came to her children and letting them know they were loved.

God is like this with us. In my mind’s eye, I believe He is standing right there waiting to greet each and every one of us but we never take time to just stand still to actually receive His hugs and kisses. We’re in so much of a hurry we never get a chance to hear His verbal reassurance we are loved today and I think it is about time we just stop and take a few minutes to receive what He wants to give us, each and every day. God can only be a loving Father if He has loving children.

It only takes seconds to demonstrate love, while

It takes a lifetime to forget the feeling of being unloved.

I Would Retire!

Today I completed a project for a client which began November ’08. There might be a requirement for minor changes but nothing compared to when I first began. It began with transcribing many hours of telephone conversations between a man and his soon-to-be divorced wife. Needless to say, this one was not going to be an amicable parting of the ways. Once compiling all of the conversations into an almost 400 page document requiring an index of pertinent conversations to be used as testimony and be able to be cued at the direction of the court.

It was like a burst of energy, a second wind in order to get to this stage, yet, there was no first wind for the past two weeks I hadn’t any motivation. When I hit the “send” key to forward the material to the client a thought crossed my mind, “If I had to go in tomorrow, I would retire.” I wondered where it came from. Contemplating what transpired it became clear; 35 years ago to the day would have been my first day hired as an IBM’er. Many of my friends were forced out this year due to the economy. Knowing what I know now and all things being equal, I would have walked into the office and announced to my department, I was going back home—for good.

I’ve come to realized banging on some form of keyboard for the past 40 years has suddenly lost its wondrous hold on me. It’s not fun anymore. It is time to do something different. I knew coming back home almost two months ago a transitioning was occurring and now it is becoming evident daily something is happening in my life. As this door closes another will open and now I’m prepared to walk through.

Take time to stop and see,

The joy and beauty of nature around me.

–Vikki Blossom

What Didn’t Work Before…

…won’t work now!

No matter how much we may want to change our circumstances, how much effort or how much sincerity, if it didn’t work before, let’s cut to the chase, it won’t work now. Why are we constantly trying to make something happen which will never happen, as long as we pursue it in human behavior and logic? What we are fighting against is not ourselves or some “defect” in ourselves as others would have you believe. We are in a war which we cannot see or win unless we learn to use a Greater Force than the one who is devastating our life.

When someone asks me when did my addiction stop I usually respond, “About 2,000 years ago.” This is when the battle was the fiercest and this is when it really ended, too. Why is it you wish to continue fighting a battle which has already been won? What could you possibly hope to achieve? Whether your addiction is substances, whether legal or illegal, sexually-related or emotional, stop fighting the battle as if your life depended on it. Your battle was fought and the One who did the fighting won and wishes to share the benefit. Why is it you wish to have this daily “beat down” when you are told cast your eyes upward and stand as a victor?

Our problem is we are thinking in the wrong way. I share with people all the time, “I’m not a man who is trying to make Heaven my home. I’m already saved and a citizen, I’m just trying to remain so.” When you go into battle from the position of strength and power there is no failure especially when you already know the outcome. Christ has fought every single war for you. It is no longer necessary to pick up arms to wage any conflict. You cannot win. The best you can do is take the time you would have fought and put the energy in prayer. This is where our strength comes from. Use it.

When the road seem too long and rough,

It’s usually a good sign you’ve been on it too long.

Instead of thinking you are all that and tough,

Then you’ve forgotten to Whom you belong.

Wheeling and Dealing

In 1992 during the height of my addiction to crack cocaine I got stopped and received a ticket and was fined $17.50. Instead of just ignoring the ticket I sent a check knowing what little money I would have would go to drugs. Perhaps, somehow, money would have been in the account and the check would be satisfied, or, maybe the bank would pay it and I would be hit with an overdraft, but I think by that time even the bank knew anything I wrote was worthless.

In 1998, I returned to New York, trying to restart my life when on the way to work I was noticed by a passing police my car was making too much noise. I got pulled over and it was determined not only was I a fleeing felon wanted in Ohio, but my license for New York was expired although I had a valid Pennsylvania permit. I picked up ten days in their county jail and an interesting ride back to Ohio.

Today, I received a letter from the Department of Motor Vehicles indicating my license was reinstated. Two months ago when I learned I would return to New York, again, there would be a good chance I’d be driving again because I carry a valid Georgia license. I am so pleased. It might have taken 17 years and an additional $35, but it is done. By the way, my Ohio license was reinstated, too. This was a requirement with Georgia in order to obtain theirs. They didn’t care about New York.

When you decide to give up your addicted ways you will begin to be restored to a normal life; and consider yourself blessed because many will not ever reach where you are today.

Turn from your ways and seek forgiveness for sin.

Let God into your life and a new life you will begin.

–Vikki Blossom

I Could Have Been Hitting a Pipe…

…but I was enjoying life instead.

The day began with a phone call from a friend who suggested we meet because she had to come into town which is close to where I live. I helped her recently get through a life-threatening matter, and she wanted to meet with me again because she was feeling much better. I thought about the work I needed to do but a little voice within said, “Ministry”, so I left to meet with her. It led to shopping with her because it was also in my plans to do so that day. While waiting at the checkout, she offered to pay for my groceries! Afterwards, she told me, today you will have a good, hot, home-cooked meal. I was so grateful not having had one in quite awhile.

Leaving her home later I received a phone call from another friend who invited me to spend the evening with his family because there were people at his home wanting to meet me. It was a very good time of meeting new people, fellowship with old friends, playing cards and watching a comedy video. When the early morning hour settled as I in my bed, during my closing of the day prayer with God the thought occurred, “What if today began with me hitting (smoking) a pipe of drugs? How much of this wonderful day would have been missed because of the foolishness of addiction?”

All the years, in fact almost twenty years were lost in the life of addiction. I would have traded all of them for just the day I had today. Life is so much worth it if we can just put away the foolishness of what is substance abuse. If the addict loses so much how much more does the family and friends of addicts lose and they’re not on drugs. Why allow them, the addict, to take you with them in their downward spiral and you’re not even getting the “feel good” of the high at least they’re having? It just doesn’t make sense. Take responsibility for yourself, too, and enjoy the life which is happening at this very moment.

You can either have a wonderful day today,

Or

You can have an awful day. It’s a matter of a choice you make right now.

No One Can Take What is Yours

In this time of uncertainty, not only because of the instability of economics, but because we don’t see more than our current present situation, we begin to doubt if anything good will happen to us. Perhaps you are wondering if you will get a job or keep the one you have now. Perhaps you are on the verge of losing your home or having to leave where you are now. You are faced with uncertain questions for which doesn’t seem to be any answers forthcoming and you’d sort of like to know now.

I think it would help us if we come to understand we have a Father who operates out of love, regarding us. He is so wonderful, or better put, He is so “full of wonder” and remarkable that any gift or blessing He has prepared for you is yours. No one can possibly take it away or delay its appearing in your life. You are not now missing anything He wishes for you to have. We must begin to trust Him and these instances of uncertainty are meant to draw us closer to Him.

I have chosen a different way of looking at things. For example, in a month, I’m not sure where I will be living. I, too, don’t have a job and prospects are low. I don’t know how I will be able to pay what presently is a blessing. See, I’m no different either than you. However, I tend to view my situation from this perspective: although I cannot see what is currently being worked out on my behalf, I will be able to look back at this moment, say, six months from now and will be able to see my Father’s hand involved in answering this problem.

I guess it is better stated: keeping your eyes on Jesus is better than keeping your focus on your current problem. Keeping your eye on your problems won’t make them go away, but keeping your eyes on Jesus, will.

Trust My voice and hear what I say:

Stay in My Word and continue to pray.

–Vikki Blossom

Grace, a Wonderful Gift

More often than not, grace is given even before it is asked for. However, to complete the process it is best given when it is asked. Many times in my life I have assumed forgiveness because someone has a deep relationship with me. This is neither love nor a good quality trait to have. It is called “presumption” and this does not go well with God. Whenever we have erred to Him or anyone for that matter, good relationships are built upon respect, dignity and trust enough in being able to go to the person and say, “I’ve made a mistake, or, I’m not able to fulfill the original condition, please forgive me.”

In our addicted lives we made a lot of assumptions and have taken many people for granted. Sometimes it has been easier for both parties to just look the other way, but pretending there hasn’t been a rift in the relationship will never allow the relationship to develop in the way it should. This is why it is important to be able to make amends and simply say, with meaning, “I’m sorry.” True, perhaps many relationships will never heal prior to the Day of Judgment, but we do not have to be the problem any longer. Let’s go over the past and see who we have wounded and are able to make amends and do so.

Father, Help heal those I have hurt along the way,

Maybe even just one, each remaining day.

The Devil Says You Can’t…

…but God says you can. Who will you believe?

The enemy tells us that we have a disease which cannot be cured. The enemy tells us that we will be addicts for the remainder of our lies. The enemy will want you to believe statistics, drug treatment specialists, rooms where people of the same problem believe they can find their strength among people like themselves. The enemy will have you believe in a form of recovery which keeps you bound in the actual addiction itself even when you aren’t using.

Or,

You can believe a God who says that He is able to heal all manner of disease, illnesses and sin. You can believe a God who tells you that if you trust in Him, He will provide you with all you need. You can believe a God who tells you that you can be set free from any addiction and go on to live a normal life devoid of ever returning.

Which would you rather believe? I run into so many who are in defense of man’s way and will not accept a Divine way of overcoming their problems. And I’ve come to recognize there are some will just not receive help, no matter how close they are to the absolute cure—Christ.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Restore me and allow a new life to begin.

–Vikki Blossom