Substance Abuse
Although my site is currently weighted on the sexual offender side versus substance abuse, there is one current thread which runs between both: GOD IS ABLE TO HEAL. And, I am a recipient of this healing power. I had been addicted to tobacco since my early teens. By the age of 16 I was smoking regularly. By the age of 21 when I smoked my last cigarette November 27, 1978, I was up to 3 packs a day with 4 to 5 per day on the weekends! This was perhaps the most difficult addiction I ever experienced.
I became addicted to Crack Cocaine in one try on a summer evening June 1989. Through various methods of trying to stop, it was my first A.A. meeting I knew within my soul, “this wasn’t going to work”. I wanted it but what was taught ran against my very core of beliefs. For many years I tried and failed. It wasn’t until I wholly submitted myself to God and the belief He could and would heal me, my addiction continued to be very active until September 11, 2002, the day I was arrested and put within the confines of a Federal prison in Puerto Rico. Understand, exactly a week before, I asked God to “save me” and the following week was when I was imprisoned and He did “save me”. Would I have rather it be somewhere else? I think so. But am I thankful He did? Most certainly.
God, who was my only comfort during this time, and I believe, placed me there to save not only my life but my soul. I tried to take my life on four separate occasions and a week prior to being arrested contemplated doing it again. I needed help and knew His separating me from the life I knew, family and friends and wanted me to spend whatever time it took to be with Him. Months into my stay and not practicing a sexual addiction called “masturbation” due to His healing, God asked me, “Roy, which is harder for Me to heal, your addiction to masturbation or drugs?” I answered, “Well the sexual, Lord?” He responded, “If you believe I have healed you from masturbating which you are capable and freely able to do right now and haven’t done in one year, why is it you cannot believe I have healed you from what you cannot do so easily now!” Now THAT made sense. I accepted those addictions: sexual and substance abuse were gone and it would be up to my faith to believe it, accept it and then live accordingly.
In the Bible, Jesus said over and over again, “It’s according to your faith”, “Go and sin no more”. What is the difference between then and now? I cannot see where there is any distinction in the healing power of God for those people or for me today. It is according to my faith and I have the command to live my life and stop doing what it was which got me where I was then.
Faith is what is needed for healing and this is what this site is all about. Sure, some will think I am out of my mind for putting this information in a public setting, but I read somewhere in Scripture, “…not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ.” So, I have a choice. I can keep what has been given me and leave others who are suffering as I did to find their own way, or, I can take a stand to offer encouragement, prayer and assistance so that one more person is relieved of their fears because those fears are real, not imaginary, what is being suffered. I have found while giving my presentations in churches, schools and in universities, people have come up to me and have commented how they, too, suffer similarly and glad to hear someone brave enough to admit it. To be truthful, I’m not so brave, but I just feel called to speak “hope” to those who are suffering. I have already lost jobs, housing, etc., due to these issues so what more can be taken away? The only thing I have left is my privilege of entering eternal life, and if I can be the catalyst whereby one more person can obtain this, too, then it would have been worth it all.
As I say in the first pages of my book, “I asked God to save me. If He has chosen this way to do so, can this be okay with you?”
I should note, I am not a supporter of: CA, NA or AA (12-Step) programs. I am strictly a faith-based believer of healing/recovery from addictions.
Although addiction is never funny, I’ve added a video clip which although humor does indeed show nothing is safe around an addict, more specifically, a crack addict, such as I was.
My theme song for this page is “Millions” by the Winans.
Millions did not make it, but I’m one of the ones who did.
Roy Reflecting
