Fear Unfounded
In the State of New York, when someone is determined to be a convicted sexual offender a Board of Examiners evaluate them for classification. The place where my offense occurred was in Puerto Rico. I would register for 10 years, once a year, and then be finished and come off their registry. To date, they do not have an Internet site.
When I learned of the procedure after moving to New York, which uses a number system, it was determined I was a Level 1, with 35 points. Because I provided them with documentation to help them to understand why I did what I did, they increased my score by 25 points with the reasoning: he does not take responsibility for his actions. However, interestingly enough, the Federal Judge accepted my “taking responsibility” for what I did and gave me credit in the sentencing. He, the Federal Judge, hadn’t had anything different I didn’t provide the officials in New York. Now, New York would have me at 60 points. In order to be a Level 2, you have to have 75 points or more and for Level 3, 110 points to 300.
In short, the Board of Examiners, in raising my point acknowledged I was a Level 1 but recommended a Level 2 status. The County Judge listened to the recommendation of the local assistant prosecutor and after six months labeled me a Level 3! I was angry, frightened, disappointed and depressed. I went from registering for 10 years with no Internet publicity to a Level 3, registering quarterly for life with Internet notification to the public.
What was my criminal act? Having possessed “child pornography” which I did not see, never intended to view but to turn it over to the authorities. Naive of me? Yes it was. Prior to the year of my arrest in 2002, I never had a reason to know about sexual offending laws and didn’t know anything about registration. Living in Puerto Rico where the news is in Spanish and they’re pretty much isolated, registered sexual offender laws and registration hadn’t been known to me, and I had no reason to know about it. I just knew when the person who offered me a menu of videotapes, saying he “produced” these, I wanted to go after this person because it was wrong. Little did I realize then it was a “sting operation” and I was caught in the web. The judge agreed with my reasoning but stated, “I believe you. There is no history showing you are or ever had been involved in this type of behavior, but according to Federal Law, the fact you touched it warrant breaking the law.” I accepted this.
After becoming a convicted and registered sexual offender and learning more about the abuses of the system, I waged war against those who are being mistreated by “the System” by beginning my website offering encouragement and hope not only to sex offenders but also to those caught in addictions, more specifically substance abuse because it was God I prayed asking help to release me from my own addiction to crack cocaine and He used the federal prison as my house of rehabilitation, my program, to get me clean and it worked. So, this has been a bittersweet experience.
While walking to work while my level was being determined, God said to me, “If I make you a Level 3, can I not still receive glory?” I answered, “Yes, You can.” What does it mean He (God) can still receive glory? It means can He do for me what may seem impossible and will I not give Him the credit and praise? It means can I not accept what is happening to me as a way of Him working in my life to bring about what He wants to do using me? This is a part of “surrendering” necessary in order to let God use you. When I look through the Bible and read about Moses, the Three Hebrews and the Fiery Furnace, Daniel in the Lion’s Den, these are similar circumstances and in each case these people made it through. God is asking me to do no less. He will bring me through.
So, I began my website. I began it with several intents in mind and it has been successful in reaching those who are affected. One reason I will share with you is since the State of New York would have me on their website, then allow me equal time to put myself on the Internet and have others see another side of me. I smile sometimes when I think now when you call up my name you will see so much more of what I am doing to help than what they’re (State of New York) has wanted to do by keeping me down. For this I am glad.
Interestingly enough when I returned to New York in 2009 leaving Georgia, who by the way, made me a lesser level registering once a year, go figure, but so much harder to live because of their restrictive laws of where you can live, it was a pleasure to return to New York where once I thought it was so difficult. I received a letter from an attorney who picked up my case and has submitted an appeal to have me placed at the level the Board of Examiners have determined I should have been and not the supposed-fear of the prosecutor and judge of having me convicted already for some future crime I may or may not commit. So, the question I asked myself this morning is, “If I am reduced to a Level 1, registering once a year, for a shorter period of time other than life, with no Internet exposure, will I alter my website and just work on helping people with addiction? If the battle for others was good enough at one point is it not now still good enough to fight? You see, it has never been about me but others and I must still stay in the fight.
I got a taste of what I might experience yesterday when after hearing the words I have been waiting to hear from an employer after having lost my job in October 2008 due to the bad economy, “I’ll take a chance with you. I’ll hire you.” There was no hiding from him because weeks prior I was invited to speak at his church and shared my story from the pulpit. I can hear the words of God echoing in my ear, “Can I not still receive glory if I made you a Level 3?” Yes, you can, Lord. I thank you for putting that man in the congregation that day so when he interviewed me there was nothing I felt necessary to hide. I was having a wonderful day and grateful for the opportunity when “’Ol Sluefoot” my term for the devil had to rain on my parade!
A week before I heard from a woman who was needing to have some typing done, a considerably stack of work, and after emailing back and forth, agreed when I would receive the work and how much I would charge. I was grateful to have this opportunity of making a couple of hundred dollars for about a day’s worth of work, or maybe two. After informing me of the tracking number from UPS and when I should expect it, she calls me shortly after and asks if I am the owner of this website. I informed her I was. She decided to pull back her work and requested me to refuse the receiving of the documents! Apparently she was fearful to have me to do what I was certainly most qualified to do, but what changed? She learned who I am through my website and I assume, because I do not know for sure, she’s involved in social services, perhaps a case manager and the material I would type for her involved her caseload and she is fearful it might be made known I did this for her? She asked if I could understand her fear and I quite frankly told her I could not. But what I could understand she wanted me not to do the work and that was fine; however, the deposit would suffice for my being rejected.
Ironically, someone involved in the helping of others drew the line when it came to helping me! Sure, it would be the fastest hundred dollars I would make, but it disturbed me that in one day I would be both accepted and rejected because of what someone knew about me. I am so thankful I am no longer addicted to drugs because of God’s belief and effort regarding me. I am so thankful God continues to put people in my path who are willing to be a part of my life regardless of what the past held and that it doesn’t sway the future. One day Christ with His disciples asked them, “Who do men say that I am?” After giving Him what they heard, then He asked them, “Who do you say I am?” and one spoke for the others the truth. It is not what the State of New York say I am by some labeling which truly holds no true meaning, but it matters who God says I am and He calls me “His child” and continues to surround me with loving friends who call me their “brother”. So, if you want to truly label me, call me “Brother Roy, God’s son.”
Tags: Addiction, Child Pornography, Recovery, registered sexual offender
